I am longing for a united nation. Seems like a cliché there. Long ago, our parents were very conservative, marriage was a thing that was paid attention to so closely and keenly. Virginity was valued. Chastity was practiced. Bride price aka dowry was negotiated according to the virtues of the girl. Cases of extra marital affairs were so minimal. Birth control methods were a thing of Western nations. They even didn't hear anything about it. I am speaking of pre and post independence babies. Discipline was a communal thing. If someone's child was caught messing, in the absence of their parents, one would be dealt with by neighbors, even passers by. I tend to believe most women the age of my mum and aunties were married while still intact.
Nowadays virgins are as rare as gemstones. We give in too fast. Single mums are on the rise. We have a wide variety of contraceptives to choose from, from implants, to jadella to pills, name them. Sex has lost its meaning. I wonder why weddings? I thought a wedding is holy. No one should have seen the nakedness of another. But hey, I am not questioning, it is the 21st century. They say you must take a car for a test drive, just to be sure of its functionality. No one is willing to talk things out. Today I break up with someone tomorrow I am in a relationship and flaunting it. Abortions are on the rise. Teenage pregnancy is now on fire. Men are leaving naive girls pregnant. They never get to see even the face of the baby, let alone knowing the gender. Things are upside down. Who pricked planet Earth? Parents upcountry are not tilling the farm because they are taking care of a grandchild who came way too early when they thought their only daughter was due to graduate, only to find out she dropped out of campus to take care of the pregnancy. Why would a parent work so hard, incur debts only to be disappointed at the end? Where is SexEd? Is it in the curriculum or one figures it by their own? Maybe they should Google that too?
Flash forward, today's parenting has completely changed. If my grandma, Robina Kwamboka, may her soul rest in peace, wakes up from her peaceful sleep, she will wonder what the world has turned into. She died peacefully without even owning a cell phone. Nowadays, kids are given access to almost everything, thanks to the accessible internet and Google. Parents no longer have time for their children. Weekends are meant for chamas and get together. We have left nannies in charge of everything, they take care of our babies, feed them, nappy them, put them to sleep, we hardly find time for them. What a pity! Are you even sure that your baby is being fed the right amount of food? Is the baby having enough sleep? Maybe all the food goes into the bin.
Worse still when nannies have taken a French leave, we drop our babies at daycare. The baby will spend the whole day with that mama. Daycare is a business, there are lots of kids checking in from time to time depending on the parent's schedule. Any mum or dad reading this post, please feed your child properly, even if it means waking up earlier than the usual time. Your baby is yours, not your pastor's, not your maid's, neither your mother in law. Please take that responsibility. At Daycare, I am talking about a normal daycare, an average one, where you pay shs 100 when you've accompanied the baby with food, or shs 150 when the baby will eat there. Those babies are subjected to 'torture' while eating. You see a normal baby loves to take their time while eating, at daycare it's a Marathon, spoon after spoon, sometimes they vomit all the food. And as soon as they vomit, even if the baby had managed to eat only four spoons, it's a wrap for mama daycare.
These children at daycare I learnt that most of them, 6/13, are taken care by one parent, mother. Basically daycare should be the last option, it seems cheap but the repercussion of it is harmful. Depending on the structure of the house, mostly the houses are not quite big to hold at least 15 children. They are put in one room and if one has flu, all of them are subjected to it. Poor babies. Some parents even don't treat their young ones of flu because they say it's needless as the baby will get it again from another child. Good Lord.
Potties are arranged in front of the toilet door. So the older kids can use them from time to time when they want to. Mama Daycare is in the kitchen, busy warming some food for younger babies, so babies are unsupervised, one baby goes to the potty, it has urine, she starts to wash her hands and face with urine. You see babies' skin is too sensitive, urine consists of urea and other components, it can pose serious itchiness and damage to the skin, my say.
Why did our parents insist so much on same tribe marriages? Did they see something amiss? For example a Luo has married a Luhya girl, all these tribes trace their roots in Western part of Kenya. The couple has been blessed with a child. Traditionally, if a child is born, s/he is supposed to be given traditional medicine or charms to protect one from evil eyes. And also on the other side Luhya they do so in a completely different way from the Luo. One is left wondering what is best for the child. I am no believer of traditional things, charms and the rest, I believe that God is above all things, living and non living.
Tribalism will not be ended by a Kikuyu marrying a Kisii, tribalism will end when we will all believe that we have one God who by all ways is fighting for each one of us. Marrying a Kikuyu and still doing things traditionally i.e clinging to beliefs such as circumcising girls with a mind that it helps them to delay getting married is evil and barbaric. Tribalism will not end by us electing a President from a marginalized community. Oh no! I am afraid to say so. That is when a common goal for unity will be achieved.
My take. XOXO
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