PARENTS WITH CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS, THEY DESERVE LOVE AND SUPPORT

1 Thessalonians 5:18: Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

It is some minutes past 3 p.m. The day’s goals have been achieved. Yippee! I am heading home. As I walk towards the stage I notice some two mothers, carrying their children on the shoulder on one hand, and on the other hand, they are carrying a wheelchair each. Two walk past me. It is Friday. Buses are hurriedly picking and dropping passengers. Friday it is; they are competing against each other to get that extra coin. Of course it is a good thing to get more. Much more money, having money is a good thing.

Kilimani Primary School, Nairobi is a unique school. In its system, it has incorporated students with disability, mostly the deaf, blind and handicapped. It is situated in along Argwings Kodhek road few metres from Yaya Centre. It is one the only two schools in Nairobi where children with disabilities are offered a chance to develop their potentials in a conducive environment.

 So the bus I am in, enters a mother, who just exited Kilimani Primary School. On her back, she has carefully strapped her baby girl on her back. She sits next to me. Three metres away, I come to terms that the radio in the bus is playing songs. It plays some infamous gospel songs. She unstraps her baby and puts her carefully on her lap. Then Christina Shusho's Nina Wimbo plays suddenly. The woman starts chanting the song. I listen to her as she deeply sings the word, she means it. the woman has already endured enough with her disabled girl. Nina wimbo, wimbo….. .Mimi nina wimbo, wimbo, mwenzenu nina wimbo. Wimbo wa sifa, wimbo wa shukrani. She continues Jehova, Jehova, Jehova.. Tabibu. From my heart I just feel this lady is thanking God for the life of her kiddo. No matter what, she is still strong in the Lord.

This brings me to talk about my brother. Brother number two. I don't fully know and understand how it feels to have a child with special needs but my mama does. As brethrens across the globe make their wishes to God, my prayer is that, may the parents with children with special needs have the strength and will to press on in their daily hustles.

1998 was a year that Kenya had one of its dark moments in history. The bombing of United States Embassies in Kenya and Tanzania saw at least 200 people killed and more than 1,000 injured. The bombings took place within minutes of each other at around 1030 local time. 

This is the year my mother’s protruded belly was to burst open and behold! A baby could come out. By that time I was circa four years. Already into my pre-school. The fourth member of the family was around the corner. We could get a chance to drink soda, eat sweet bananas and get to hold our new-born baby. What a joy!

The big day came knocking; my cousin accompanied my mother to the hospital. A hospital in the neighbouring province, Rift Valley. She stayed two days in hospital, the third day she came home. On the way, the unexpected happened. They had a nasty accident. A cow was crossing the road when a driver coming from the opposite direction tried not to hit the creature but came head on collision with the vehicle my mum was in. At the time of the incident, my cousin’s upper lip ripped. People who were in that matatu sustained severe injuries while others’ breathe was cut short.

LIFE AFTER THE ACCIDENT

My mama sustained minor injuries. She recounts the incident as so dreadful. She says that she feared for her little bundle of joy. As of today, a victim of the accident is circa 18 years and has never spoken, as a result of the accident. My mum has been strong all way. First, after the accident, the baby was just okay in appearance but he sustained internal head fractures. Something, we came to realize way too late. Doctors said the baby was too young for an x-ray to be conducted on him. So some scans were run that showed his brain was affected. What’s the solution? Medics seemed to be relaxed on this issue.

We sought traditional help. My bro has taken way too much herbal medicine. Only God Knows. Herbalists one after the other have promised to have him cured through traditional ways, but all in vain. Being the Christian my mum is we sought help and comfort from God. We could assemble every evening sing a song, pray, say the grace, shake hands then greet the blankets. My brother, William, never crawled, he moved with his butt. He had convulsions most of the times. (Tears)

Convulsion after another brought about epilepsy. He could fall down, eyes white, stiff body, drooling, and would bite his tongue. This happened a couple times. The first time it happened, I guess my bro was around a year and half or younger. He fell down with a thud and eyes turned out then started biting his tongue. You should have seen my mum scream, I was beside her, some passers-by ran to help her. They held him in some position, put a spoon in his mouth to avoid him biting off his tongue. After recovering from the convulsions, he seemed so tired, worn out, sick.

Kama kuna mtu ameona shida, mamangu hakosi kwa hiyo list. Since 1998, she has never left the side of my bro. Being a teacher, was a plus for her since she always tags my bro along. My bro was enrolled in a special school. He now learns life skills, how to cook, how to be a good man etc. Sometimes I worry for my bro, will he marry? How will it be for him as a man? I ask myself a lot of questions. But all in all, I thank the Almighty for the gift of life. As long as he is alive, his story is not yet over. 

THE TRADITIONAL CURE

I came to the city. Full of life. In full swing to start off that campus course. My all-time dream career. To become a Journalist. I have wanted to become a Swahili journalist. I love Swahili. I love sports. Maybe someday nitatangaza mpira.  Or somewhere in Radio Citizen or Radio Maisha host a show that plays rhumba, soukous and lingala. May my dreams come true. God, send me an Angel.

I am a social person. But my face does not show it. People say I am quiet. My voice is thin. Living in a single room can be hectic, one step uko kitchen, another step bedroom, another one lands you on the study. Since its boring to see the same things over and over again, I make friends. Occasionally we could hang at each other’s house. Our nature as women, we share and talk of almost about everything. 

On this day, it was a Friday. Friday is a big day for Seventh Day Adventist flock. Mama Junior, Susan (her name), and I talked on something that changed my bro’s life. I narrated her a whole story on how my bro was ailing and how he had used even the last dime to get cure but in vain. She also told me that, her son, Junior, when he was young, had convulsions but through the help of a herbalist, had his cure. 

She gave me her mother’s number so that I may get in touch with my mother so as to contact the herbal doctor. 

I called my mother. The healing process started.

Parents with children with special needs need not to be looked down upon. They desire to be appreciated. They need your support. Your love. Time. Money. Prayers. Kindness. The struggles they endure in their day-to day activities have made them persistent. Please treat their disabled children well. I encourage you to participate on this Run For Charity Events. You can save a child's life.

Part two continues.....

Thanks for stopping by.

MASHUJAA EDITION: MY HERO

Hey peeps, today is Mashujaa day, 20-10-2015. I have a Shujaa this Mashujaa day.


I am going to speak about a friend, better known to me as Eunice Akinyi. You see, a jaber there. She is only twenty-something and is already doing well to herself. A friend I have known since my early days in campus. We were classmates. She is so outspoken. Beautiful. Has many friends from all walks of life. The crazy Kipsang, remember him? And the naughty Yego. What stands out in her is her skin complexion. She isn’t dark, yet not so chocolate but something in between. Her skin tone is flawless. 

So last year December we cleared undergraduate studies. She had majored in Broadcast Production. I was in the Print Production Class. Word on the street has it that this girl is going places. Back then she was a model. A runway model in that case. She is stylish, her looks so heavenly.

Photo Courtesy  http://fashionstylemogul.com/

Recently, she was interviewed on Ebru Africa TV’s Table Talk with Beryl Ooro. She is a young entrepreneur at Yuns Beauty and Photography Limited where she doubles up as the CEO. Her office is at the View Park Towers, 16 th Floor, Suite 10. She is really dreaming big as a young achiever. Catch the clip here.

Eunice has taken it a notch higher as she had promised and launched her online magazine. It is a thumbs up. Here it is;

http://issuu.com/crememagazine/docs/creme_magazine_october_2015

Also, check out her Facebook Page, Creme Magazine for offers and fashion-related ujanjez.

Another fashion blogger who christens herself as the fashion style mogul, Meron Dymphana, works hand in hand with Eunice. Yuns Photography Limited has done a number of her photos and  make-up too. Catch her at;

http://fashionstylemogul.com/

What makes me term her as my Shujaa is that she made it possible for me to wear make-up. I am not a fan of make-up anyway. So, a question pops on Facebook, who is the cover model for Crème Magazine, a magazine that Eunice is the Chief Editor, I make a right guess and guess what? I win a free photo-shoot. So, we agree on a date for the photo-shoot.

I am super excited to enter her office; we catch up on some stories on our classmates’ then serious business. She starts applying me make-up. I have this weird feeling that she is smearing ‘those things’ on me and I will look like a clown or worse get big fat pimples. She finishes doing her thing and the result is wow.

I have been of the idea that one day if I wear make up, I will walk head facing down. Cause I feel shy in make-up. I feel like I am a whole new person, different person, something different from me. And by the way, for me I only carry Vaseline in my bag, which I even end up not using, applying on my lips. That is how conservative/primitive I can be. I never forget to roll down that Roll-on on my armpits because sometimes if I sweat, Ngai (God).

I think I will be trying this look every other day, really, yes. Yippeee! 

Me (in a black top) and Eunice(in a blue dress) looking sweet.

WHEN I BECAME A MOM, A LOT CHANGED...

My Physique

I used to be this slender girl in my teen years. Now I am big, not so big but I have learnt to accept and embrace my body. The changes that have happened since I gave birth, the stretch marks (I am going to write a whole page on stretch marks on my next blog post). I understood the real meaning of having breasts like mine. See here.

Every day is a surprise

Every day is a surprise. Yes it is. Today the baby was staring at you the next day she is mumbling the mamama and bababa words. Yesterday she was crawling, tomorrow she is up on her feet.

You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself

This happens a lot, every time we stare at the mirror, I look at her face instead of mine. It is so cool. It melts my heart.

I dropped few friends

My phone-book was full, even the phone had jammed saving more contacts. When I finally gave birth, I realized that half the people on my phone-book were just mere-friends, whom we do not share same interests. One by one I did away with them. So, nowadays, mostly my phone contacts read as Mama Joy, Mama Andy, Mama Sam etc the list goes on and on.

I reason differently

Since I am a certified mom now, the way I think changed instantly. I give things a deeper look. My decision gotta impact two lives. Mine and baby's.

I am more loving and caring 

Motherhood has taught me to handle and care for the baby with utmost love. Babies can be delicate when they contact a cold. You need to be there for the Little One to clean her nose, ears, and change their diaper.

I have become a time manager

No time is wasted. I know when I wake up at 5.00 a.m. , I have to fix her porridge or cereal, feed her, take a shower, put her to sleep, change her diaper, dress up, all in an hour, then go to work.

Taking shower is a luxury

When you have a young one, you will come to terms that showering is a luxury. You may put the baby to sleep, then, as you are readying up to shower, clothes off, the baby wakes up with a loud scream, so you have to choose between having a bath or attending to the baby. Sometimes you will have to bathe hurriedly when you have the chance to.

You don't mind going to bed late 

I sleep at 10 p.m. everyday no matter how early I try to feed the baby. She is usually fed at 7 p.m. But she stays active until 10 p.m. It's not a big deal. As the babies grow, they tend to get active most times during the day. They sleep less during the day.


The bye-kiss

Leaving for work in the morning is hard. If she is awake I have to tell her sweet words such as bye sweety, miss you already, see you in the evening, be a good girl, etc. Saying good-bye can take time even if it means I do not catch the morning bus because I was kissing my darling daughter, it is ok.


The extra kilos, which seems to go nowhere, are worth having when I look at her

Every morning when I look at the mirror, I see stretch marks, black tiger stripes, I love them because I cannot change them. They are part of me. And it is because of them I have my daughter.

Redefined inner strength

When she popped out, I knew I became a superwoman. The labor pains were horrible. But her face was beautiful enough to remember the birth pain.


I stopped being judgmental

Instead of giving parents of a screaming child a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' look, you give them this look 'I-know-the-feeling'.


I believed at love at sight

When I first laid my eyes on her, I fell in love. As days go by, I fall in love with her again and again.

I started getting heartbroken when I watch news, esp emotional ones. 

Stories that appeal to human nature have done me harm because I give them a mother's perspective. For example, what if a pedophile harms my child?


I want to be safe always, just for my baby

I always take every precaution because the consequences will affect both of us. For example if I drive recklessly, I will end up in a cell and my baby will miss me for the night I will be behind bars.


I am fearless

I stand up for what I know is right. I speak out. I have a strong will. Unstoppable. I want to reach my limits. It is not over. I know as long as I am alive, my story is not yet over.

We share everything

I cannot drain a whole mug of water alone when my daughter is around, she wants some. Everything, literary everything.


I am doing a great job

This quote sums it up all.

Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.

Cheryl Lacey Donovan

POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION, THE HEMORRHOIDS

Hemorrhoids is no joke. It is real pain. It is uncomfortable. It is itchy.

I come out of the hospital. My bundle of joy is worth it. A baby Girl, Shuneta. I keep looking at her every moment. She has a lot of hair. A pinkish face. Her umbilical cord has not fallen, it is still clamped. She keeps smiling while sleeping. It is so super adorably cute. Sometimes my eyes get watery seeing her yawn, smile or even cry. She is super gorgeous. I am in love. The six-hour labor was not in vain. She is so tiny. She is weighing at 3.3 kgs. Sometimes I get chills that I may fall her down.

She uses a lot of diapers. Like, I have to change her six to eight times a day. Her poop (meconium) is dark green. Sometimes she soaks her diaper way too earlier. But I am loving her that way. She gets her BCG vaccine 7 days after birth.


Barely six weeks after giving birth, I started experiencing some sharp pain after a bowel movement. It continues getting worse. By this time I was taking sitz baths (sitting on warm water with salt). Every morning and evening or after every bowel movement. After every bowel movement, I would feel an itchy sharp pain.

Nursing the baby is hectic. Sitting is troublesome. Walking is dramatic. Hemorrhoids pain is unbearable. It becomes a double tragedy for me since my birth canal hasn't come to terms yet. Even right now I am feeling the hemorrhoids pain. I cannot sit properly. I cannot sit for long hours. I keep standing or moving around.


According to an online health site, http://www.emedicinehealth.com/  it defines hemorrhoids as;


Hemorrhoids are enlarged veins located in the lower part of the rectum and the anus. The veins become swollen due to increased pressure within them, usually from constipation or profuse diarrhea, and during pregnancy because of the pressure of the enlarged uterus.

Internal hemorrhoids are located in the inside lining of the rectum and cannot be felt. They are usually painless and make their presence known because blood is seen with a bowel movement. Internal hemorrhoids can prolapse or protrude through the anus.

External hemorrhoids are located underneath the skin that surrounds the anus. They can be felt when they swell and may cause itching, pain, or bleeding with a bowel movement. A thrombosed external hemorrhoid occurs when blood within the vein clots, and may cause significant pain.


http://www.mayoclinic.org/ gives remedy to hemorrhoids as follows;

You can often relieve the mild pain, swelling and inflammation of hemorrhoids with home treatments. Often these are the only treatments needed.

-Use topical treatments. Apply an over-the-counter hemorrhoid cream or suppository containing hydrocortisone, or use pads containing witch hazel or a numbing agent.

-Soak regularly in a warm bath or sitz bath. Soak your anal area in plain warm water 10 to 15 minutes two to three times a day. A sitz bath fits over the toilet. You can get one at most drugstores.

-Keep the anal area clean. Bathe (preferably) or shower daily to cleanse the skin around your anus gently with warm water. Soap isn't necessary and may aggravate the problem. Avoid alcohol based or perfumed wipes. Gently dry the area with a hair dryer after bathing.

-Don't use dry toilet paper. To help keep the anal area clean after a bowel movement, use moist towelettes or wet toilet paper that doesn't contain perfume or alcohol.

-Apply cold. Apply ice packs or cold compresses on your anus to relieve swelling.

-Take oral pain relievers. You can use acetaminophen (Tylenol, others), aspirin or ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin IB, others) temporarily to help relieve your discomfort.


With these treatments, hemorrhoid symptoms often go away within a week. See your doctor if you don't get relief in a week, or sooner if you have severe pain or bleeding.

THE EXTRACTION

It is sunny. It is dry. It is dusty. Activities outside are running as usual. Mama mbogas are quickly attending to their orders since it is roughly some minutes past noon. Butcheries are flooded with clients who are buying a ka quarter for lunch. I can smell the aroma of fries metres away. Fries (chipo) sell like no one's business. They are packed from as low as sh20, sh30 , sh50 onwards.

Today is the d-day. We are going to extract the plastic teeth. So I give Mama Seth a call and she asks me to pass by her house as she is readying for the journey. This day stands out. There are less vehicles at the stage. The ones coming are either full or are charging a little over the normal bus fare. Haidhuru. We board a Utimo Bus (a matatu that operates in Umoja-Tao using Jogoo road). Unluckily I sit on the middle-back seat. Inside the matatu, it is so full, hot. The pot-holes are making the bus go in a shaky manner, thus rubbing each other's shoulders. I am sweating. The baby is sweating and fast asleep.

The Estate

Our destination is Makongeni (Okongo). Makongeni borders Kaloleni Estate. From the gate you can see the full of life in this estate. At the gate, a man in his early 30s is selling candies at the entrance of the gate, it is evident people in this estate are living in abject poverty. Many people here are hustlers, they are struggling to make ends meet. Others are pulling carts (mkokoteni) loaded with jerrycans of water, tuk tuks are busy going round the estate picking and dropping passengers. The estate is dirty, blocked sewage are emanating a foul smell, a pungent smell, litter is all over, used cooking fat containers are carelessly thrown all over, used polythene bags are also all over. This indicates that the estate's management is not so concerned about the hygiene of its inhabitants.



We stroll past a big field where we meet boys roughly 8-13 years are playing football, a ball made out of polythene paper bags. They are shabbily dressed. We cross through a path that leads us to the mama who was to extract the false teeth from the baby's mouth. I am so freaking out because I do not know what to expect. I hear it is a painful ordeal. My God! I cry for my baby.



Our Arrival


Upon arrival, we meet the old mama cooking. She is cooking murenda and posho, (posho sounds too odd). Actually it's ugali, sembe, sima. A meal with such many names. You should have seen her sweating while swirling that ugali. That cooking stick was dancing to the music. Before then the house. The house is hastily built, it is a mabati house, used mabati. Rusted-mabati. When inside, you can clearly see the sky. When it rains, she says she practically removes all her things and puts them on a higher place. The woman is in her sixties if I guess right. She quickly serves her people then we start on the baby.


'The Cure'

She asks me for Robb and Vaseline. I hand over and witness her do her thing, what she does best. She says I have been giving this baby nightmares for not massaging her, yes I haven't been massaging her but is that how to do it? She undresses her and pulls her hands and legs, presses her thumb finger on her stomach and back and says that's how to massage the baby. She cries uncontrollably. This mama also is also a midwife. She says she has assisted many women who cannot afford the 'free' maternity hospital fee give birth at only Kshs 2000. By now maybe she charges higher because people especially her neighbors and those who have tasted her services regard her as 'creme de la creme' loosely translated to as 'the finest of them all'.


The Extraction


As the baby cries wildly, she grabs her and squeezes her cheeks to open her mouth. This is heartbreaking. She takes some dried herb-like powder, she says it is ginger and other herbs she did not disclose, and scrubs them onto baby's lower and upper jaw while saying that it is going to cure the baby. She says the gums may bleed. After finishing her thing, she says the baby is now okay. She is wailing. Her gums are red. She is sweating. God why?

Why me? Why should this baby go through this? Is it true that this plastic teeth were to kill  her? Was the diarrhea caused by these false teeth? Isn't this too hard to bear alone. I start chanting Burdens are lifted at Calvary silently.




I give the mama her cash then we leave the place with Mama Seth. The baby is asleep. We take a matatu back home.



Your comments are welcome on this menace on plastic teeth. Is it true? Or it is a way of minting money. Do babies die if they have plastic/false teeth. Let's get talking.Is it an old myth? Who let the plastic teeth grow with other milk teeth of the baby? Did they interfere with the dental formula?

Or rather, whom do we share the same story?