My Treasured World: PREGNANCY MYTHS BUSTED

My Treasured World: PREGNANCY MYTHS BUSTED: A woman can't get pregnant if penetration only happens for a few seconds -This is not true, any given time you have unprotected interc...

PREGNANCY MYTHS BUSTED

A woman can't get pregnant if penetration only happens for a few seconds

-This is not true, any given time you have unprotected intercourse, there is a high risk of pregnancy.
-Beware of STDs. Use protection to be safe.

Sperms die instantly when it comes into contact with air

-Oh no! I am crying with laughter. Sperm can live in the open air for three to five days. It only dies when it is completely dry.

A woman cannot get pregnant if she's having intercourse in the swimming pool

-Studies show that water does not interfere with conception.

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A woman has to have an orgasm in order to get pregnant

-This is absolutely false. A woman's orgasm has nothing to do with getting pregnant.

Pregnancy can occur from anal sex

-Pregnancy cannot occur via anal sex.

You can tell the gender of the baby the way you are carrying it

-This is not even 50-50. Go for an ultrasound scan. This is the only true way to determine your baby's gender.

All women have morning sickness

-Not true. 85% of women experience morning sickness throughout their pregnancy.

Pregnant women should eat for two

-This is not true. Just eat food enough for yourself. The baby will get important nutrients for its development from the amount you eat.

Sex induces labour

-Sex doesn't bring on labour. It is a lie. However, you can engage in sex until the last day to your delivery if you feel comfortable at it.

Sleeping Positions can affect the delivery

-For most pregnant women, it is hard to find a comfortable sleeping position. It is good to stick to the side that favors you most. During the first trimester you can even lie on your belly without noticing that you're even carrying  a baby in you.

You cannot get pregnant while breastfeeding

-Breastfeeding does not prevent you from getting pregnant. It is advisable to consult your doctor on safe family planning methods that are suitable for your body.

You just don't want to get pregnant again that fast.

Small boobs don't have sufficient milk

-Oh boy! A woman with a small cup-size can produce same amount of milk as that one with big boobs, even more. As long as a mother is eating well, then she's good to go no matter the size of her boobs.

If a woman puts her hands above her head, then the umbilical cord can wrap around the baby's neck

-This is a lie. A mother's movement cannot affect the baby's umbilical cord.

Pregnant women should not have baths

-Says who! When one is pregnant, hygiene is key. You just need to be clean or else! People think that if a pregnant woman bathes, there is a risk of bacteria getting into contact with the vagina and in turn harm the baby. But, it is a lie.

More coming soon, still doing my research...

WHEN TO RESUME SEX: CESAREAN VS VAGINAL BIRTH

The sexual heat you had does not come into a halt because you just had a baby. Your baby is not going to stop you from enjoying sex as you did in the past. You are going to show your Kama Sutra expertise in bed like never before. Just wait for that bleeding to stop, or that cesarean wound to heal. It is a matter of weeks. You cannot imagine that dry spell again, maybe by the time you clocked 6 months pregnant you never wanted your husband near you. He spent his nights in the sitting room, on that couch at the corner as you grumbled and cursed pregnancy fatigue.

There is no definite time to resume your sex life. On the other hand, women go through various complications while giving birth. It is sure that some couples may find it unusual to start engaging in sex yet there is still some bleeding. Once the bleeding has halted, you can resume intercourse. Bleeding may take up to two weeks. 

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For instance, I had an episiotomy, for starters, an episiotomy is a surgical cut of the perineum (the area between the anus and the vulva) and the posterior vagina wall during childbirth, to aid a difficult delivery and prevent rupture of tissues. It took me time to even know that my gynae had performed an episiotomy on me, it took longer to heal, passing urine was hectic, it felt like I was burning, then came the hemorrhoids. Read the whole story here. I had to wait longer until it felt that I was really ok to resume sex.

Ensure that you are physiologically prepared. Post delivery has its fair share of pressure. Sex might be the last thing in your mind. You have a baby to take good care of and it becomes a little bit harder at first to adjust to the new life.

For instance, if you are still nursing a cesarean section wound, it may take longer for you to resume sex. You cannot imagine him on you as your stomach is still hurting. Let alone your breasts are sore. Listen to your body for guidance if you are ready. By six weeks, the pain on the wound could have eased, giving you the green light to resume sex. Do not start it vigorous, take it easy as you may experience some bit of discomfort for the first time.

WHAT TO EXPECT; TRIMESTER BY TRIMESTER: PART 1

Having a baby is the most precious thing a woman can ever long for. Forget the diamond rings, golden earrings, beaded necklaces, stilettos, make-up etc. A baby is the most priceless jewel in your life that you can count on. Pregnancy is beautiful. A boy friend once told me that a woman is beautiful at 18 and when she is pregnant, on those two instances.

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From guessing the sex of your baby, name, the day you will bring him/her home makes the heart warm. You may be prepared for all this but nothing will prepare you for the changes in your body. Something beautiful is cooking inside your belly. In 40 weeks time or less, your newborn will be by your side.


FIRST TRIMESTER


That said, let me take you through on what you will expect in the first trimester.

Bleeding


About 25% of women experience slight bleeding in their first trimester. This is called spotting. However, if you feel sharp pains on your abdomen, or too crampy, please call your doctor. These could be signs of a miscarriage, or an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy where the embryo develops outside the uterus (womb).


Constipation


You may experience constipation. During pregnancy, the muscle contractions that normally move food through your intestines slow down because of higher levels of the hormone progesterone.

You are advised to increase your fiber intake and drink extra fluids to keep things moving more smoothly. Physical activity can also help.

Breast tenderness 

Having sore breasts is one of the earliest signs of pregnancy. This is triggered by hormonal changes which are preparing your milk ducts to feed your baby when s/he arrives.

This calls for going up a bra size or more. A sports bra comes in handy.


Constipation can be a thorn in the flesh, talk to your doctor for assistance on a stool softener which is safe for use during pregnancy.


Frequent Urination

The womb is growing bigger thus putting pressure on the bladder, as a result you need to visit the ladies all the time. When in town, be well conversant with places that you can access clean toilets. Some big supermarkets have clean latrines, also hotels. City council loos can be hectic with the long queues.

Discharge

Panty liners come handy. You may see a thin milky discharge on your undies but this is not a red flag. On the other hand, if the discharge is foul-smelling, green or yellow, visit your doctor.

Fatigue

Rest, take naps. Your body is working itself out to accommodate the growing foetus. This may cause significant tiredness.

Cravings (food)

Your tastes or food preferences change when you are expecting.
I remember I craved for non-food things. I ate bricks, yes, the red ones used to build houses, ash, the residue of charcoal, stones, extremely cold drinks, vinegar.

Weight gain

Gaining weight is a must. I have never heard of any pregnant woman that did not add weight during the three trimesters. In order to achieve this, eat a well balanced diet, this should include more fruits and vegetables. Fiber is good, it eases things down there in case of a bowel movement.

Morning Sickness

I did not experience this in my entire pregnancy. Morning sickness entails nausea and vomiting. This is as a result of hormonal change. Close to 85% of women are affected by this condition. For some it is worse, they cannot start a day without vomiting.

To calm your nausea, sip water in the morning before anything. Or even better take apple juice. It relieves the nauseating feeling.

Mood swings

Pregnancy is not a walk in the park. At times it may make you feel miserable due to fatigue. You can become extra-emotional. It is very okay to cry, it sheds the feeling away. Then find someone, a relative or a friend and talk to her/him.

Something is wrong when you see/experience the following;

 Severe abdominal pain.
 Significant bleeding.
 Severe dizziness.
 Rapid weight gain or too little weight gain.

In my first trimester, I didn't even feel that I was pregnant, my tummy was flat, I didn't have any morning sickness, no cravings, no fatigue, I used to rock my ankle boots and a short dress, no one could notice that something was cooking in my belly. Until the second trimester, is when things changed....


Second trimester, coming your way... enjoy your pregnancy lady...

TYPES OF MOMS, WHO ARE YOU?

I have been a wife and  a mother, for close to a year now. Life has not been that smooth. From pregnancy to childbirth, I have met women, who have become my friends, some have changed into total enemies, some fr-enemies, some have hung up on me, even worse have back-stabbed me.

Here is my compilation of types of moms;

 The Perfect Mom

According to her she is doing everything OK. Every morning she tidies the room, disinfects the baby toys every time it comes into contact with anything, even when it comes into contact with another.

She will always pick up on you once she pays you a visit. She will ask you why you prefer napkins over diapers. She will even tell it on your face that you are not doing it right just because you are using a spoon to mash baby’s food instead of using a blender, which you do not have. We are not the same, never shall we be the same. But I am OK with it. She even questions why you do not have a stock of wet wipes to clean baby’s face and butt, because clearly, you are using a liner dipped inside water, which is OK to me.

The Mean Mom

However you try you will never get her compliment.

I have had an experience with mean moms almost every other day. Children are so unique. Some are early bloomers whereas some are late bloomers. My daughter is 11 months and she hasn’t walked independently, yet she clutches on objects to help her move around. You do not have to tell me on my face that yours walked at six months; even worse tell me that she is a late bloomer. It makes me feel bad for my baby. Please.

At the end of the day, babies take their time. The longer the baby takes to learn how to walk, babble, the better. Let the little God-given creatures enjoy their time, they will never be the same again.

The Backstabbing Mom

We love to vent a lot as women. It is a way of half-solving our problems. I share with you something so confidential say about my unstable marriage, let alone my financial woes. As soon as I leave your presence, I can hear you alert Mama Shiko that you have something to tell her, really? You were supposed to be my confidant.

The Insensitive Mom

This type of mom is so rude and heartless. She has no maternal sensitivity in her. She does not care much about how you feel. She spits of venom. She never weighs on comments before she speaks.

Today she will tell you that your stretch marks will never fade for as long as you try. The next time she will ask you to try a new cream or lotion in the market which may cost you a fortune.

The Judgemental Mom

Hey judgemental mom, this cold season from my savings I went to Gikomba and bought my daughter some lovely sweaters, mittens, socks and cute dresses. They cost me less than Shs2000 and I am happy. It was not in my means to buy brandies from Biashara Street. Those Wahindis can be expensive at times.

The Toxic Mom

-She is cruel.

-She can't deal with not being in the limelight.

-She does not respect your privacy/boundaries.

-She dismisses your negative feelings and thinks you should stop whining and get something to do.

XOXO

Which type of mom are you? Let’s get talking…

READY FOR SOLID FOODS?

Signs that your baby is ready for solid foods?

-She is at least four months.

-She is able to sit up and hold head up unassisted.

-She has doubled her birth weight.

-She is interested in your food, she continuously takes food from your plate and puts it ih her mouth.

-She frequently wakes up at night to feed.

Disclaimer: Every baby is unique in their own way. So do not pressure a baby to start on solid foods. Let them take their time.

PARENTAL ADVICE, WHAT TO TAKE IN

Most of the times, I must admit that I have been approached by women older than me, or younger, of course it is not a bad thing to advice someone on how to handle their kid. On the other hand, it is wrong to tell someone otherwise on how to handle their kid(s).


Be resourceful, don't just listen

Long ago, last year, I was on my routine clinic visits, a woman, almost same age as me, 20s, approached me and told me that my baby would develop rickety legs because I was carrying her on a baby carrier. At first I was perplexed, but wait a minute, my doctor and other reliable baby sites say that you can carry the baby from day one as long as the head is in good position. I am a modern mum, an online mum. Most of research I do it online. I also get to hear what other mums say on various baby products, weigh it out then see what to do. For instance, my early days as a mom were so wild, my baby, Shuneta, was so fussy, she screamed a lot.

I forgot, do not bash people who give you advice, it might help you. Do not show any sign of rudeness.

-Do not forget to say thank you, i.e say, Thank you for the piece of information, this evening I will discuss it with my husband and decide if we should do that.

-That sounds great! And though it may work for others, it sadly won’t work for me.

-That is interesting. I will talk to my pediatrician about it and get back to you.

Take advantage


On your routine visits to the clinics, take advantage of the trained personnel. The nurses are at your service. They are resourceful. They have had babies. They know what you have gone through, from pushing, lacking milk, sore nipples, name them.

Say your baby is turning 6 months, they can sufficiently give you advice on how to introduce solid foods to your baby.

They can even guide you on what family planning method to take.