It is four minutes to three. A message on Skype pops up in the Skype group, please hold on. Do not leave after three (sic). By now I am dead sure that something is up, something wrong.
Minutes couple up, then a fellow colleague is called into boardroom. Three minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes she comes out, her facial expression is not good, her contract has been terminated. I harden my spirit and wait for my turn, haiya, it's me next..
I make way to the boardroom. In front of me is Alex, our boss. He avoids close contact with my eyes because he is delivering some bad news to me, something he's been knowing but has never given an hint. So Alex wants to shake my hand as I sit down but is overtaken by events. Nancy, how are you? Of course the answer is I am fine, even if I have a thousand and one problems you ain't going to be of any help. As I sign the contract termination papers I am so worried, the question that lingered in my head all through is; What is my baby going to eat?
As I leave the boardroom, tears rolling down my cheeks, Mtoto wangu atakula nini phrase still on my mind, I sit on that desk, knowing that this is the last time ever I am sitting on this desk, it was the last time I was in possession of that office laptop. Maybe, it is the last time I am working under someone. As I quickly but carefully transfer my documents to my flash disk, I ponder on why of all the people, it is me that is being shown the door, I know I gave my best. I remembered what Alex had told me in the boardroom that led to my dismissal but I couldn't connect the dots. If it was translation, I know my kiswahili was good, colleagues can attest to that.
Fast forward, I switched off the laptop and headed to the kitchen just to return the glass of water. That afternoon I felt so dehydrated, more reason as to why I thought that day was not to end well. By this time I'd wanted to ring my friends and narrate the story to them but I was so teary. Every time someone told me; it's going to be OK, don't worry, God will see you through, tears filled my eyes each moment. More colleagues were called in, they came out with not so familiar faces.
I said good-bye to fellow workmates who I met along the way as I headed to the gate.
Of late, there has been new people being called for interview, yaani people conduct interviews to replace you when you have no idea. Haidhuru.
So me and other colleagues who ply the same route boarded the matatu. One offered to pay my bus fare. Kwani Nancy utanikumbuka na nini? She said. By this time my feelings were so hurt, you just lose a job that way, I asked God a lot of questions. Mola mbona iwe Mimi? Kwa nini Mola iwe hivi? After trying to ask for my leave days twice and I was denied, now they've dismissed me for good, not even a three months notice!!!
That night friends checked in on WhatsApp, Facebook and other social media platforms to give a sister an encouragement that all is not over, they didn't cut my legs nor my arms, at least I can always find another job, but the timespan until I get that maiden job is worrying.
So I search the internet on a daily basis to check if my qualifications meet any advertised post. Sadly on a bad day I do not find any. But hey, just the other day, I went to a certain company, an insurance company, for a sales representative job, the interview went on well and happily I was overqualified. So today I was to report for training, I reported there at 8:25, I always arrive earlier to familiarize myself with the surrounding. So since 8:30 I waited for the unit manager, the lady who was supposed to show me things around but she didn't come. Come on, I do not have a whole day to wait for someone, hata kama I am so in need, plus ni kuuza insurance on commission, meaning there are bad days when I will tarmac and even miss lunch, hii jua nayo inichome. It's never that serious.
As I sat on that chair waiting for the lady, I realized that I am not that desperate for a job. My state of lacking a job can be turned into something better, something better than walking up and down selling life insurance, knocking door to door, convincing people with a fake smile, oh no! I am made of better, better than being employed. And being paid a shameless 20K.
I realized how rich I am, God has bestowed me a fleet of abilities, I can write well, I can create stories, write poems, write mashairi, short plays, compose songs, but I can't sing, how about turning this into something that can earn me income.
I refuse to be a plagiarist. Something I was compelled to do in the past one year and a couple of months for that company. I am not bitter because I lost a job, I am bitter that all this time I have been sitting on gold. If I had put my abilities into practice, si aki ningekuwa far sana by now!!! I am not going to wait for tomorrow, kama si sasa ni sasa hivi.
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