90s babies are slowly becoming mothers. I mean some born as early as 1995 are now mothers either by choice or by default. I am a 90s baby and already my munchkin has turned a year old. I threw a worthwhile party for her and I was happy. At least I know what it feels for such a milestone.
There is this cocoon of babies born in the early 80s, some are in their early thirties, some are turning 30 this year. Some have lost count of their years and have now started it at 26, again. As a lady you do not want to turn 30 when two things have not happened in your life, a well-paying job and a man, or a baby. At 23 you are praying at least Good Lord don't let me turn 25 without a job, Lord give me a man who will give me a dream wedding before I clock 29, Lord at least by 30 give me a baby, my biological clock is ticking, and my face is no longer glittering like a 18 year old, you know how many layers of make-up I apply just not to look my age, I am concealing a lot of wrinkles under make-up. I fake a smile every now and then just to brush off my sorrows. Before 30 prayers like, Lord give me a God fearing man, one who my parents will give a go ahead to marry me, give me a financially stable man, he should have a good physique and good looking.
Jacky* is 30+ years, rumor has it that since her hubby engaged her, they have been trying for a baby for some time now but for two plus years their efforts have bore fruits. Jacky has a friend, she is Maureen*. Maureen is a good close friend to Jacky since their heydays in campus. Maureen even helped Jacky secure a job in the same company. Things friends can do for each other.
Soon Jacky gets pregnant. Flash forward, Maureen creates a WhatsApp group for Jacky's baby shower. Friends and fellow office workers are invited for the surprise baby shower. Thanks to today's calibre of women, we just want to do things the Western way. I shall throw a gender reveal party for my second born, if God isn't done with me yet (giggles).
Luckily Jacky gives birth to her baby boy via a caesarean section and it's all joy to everyone that was waiting for the baby.
Maureen's problem isn't men, she has friends, even she is a friend to her ex-boyfriend. Fishy, right? Her ex's wife sends photos of their baby to Maureen. And she acknowledges. Who does that? I wouldn't want any connections with my ex moreso when he has already moved on, and wait a minute, when he's happily married with a kid. Maureen's problem is that she doesn't want to give birth, simply because she thinks her punani is going to be too big thus making her husband seek services elsewhere. She also says she has a friend whose punani never went back to its original shape and size and it has really taken a toll in her marriage. She adds that she will never have a vaginal birth, she rather goes the Cesarean way. That's Maureen.
Maureen turned 30 last year. All along she has been saying that since she hasn't clocked 30, she still has time. Menopause is calling from a distance. When you are 30 and haven't figured out things, it takes at most three years to date before you settle down. For her she wants a wedding, her boobs are saggy, her belly pouch is hanging, she is so bitter with life, her face tells it all, her legs cannot support her on wedges shoes, leave alone heels, her fashion sense is so gloomy, she is stressed up, her friends are doing so well, some invite her to gatherings and occasions. Did I forget to tell you that her parents are well respected people in the village? She is doing it for them, she does not want to let them down.
Her WhatsApp status know Jesus more than ever, full on inspirational quotes, Lord I am waiting upon you, Jesus wept, No weapon formed against me shall prosper, God give me faith to be a victory. She has joined almost all prayer cells, has set an alarm to wake her up at 3 am, if you pray at 3 am, it is the most powerful time to pray, your prayers will be readily answered, don't ask me how I know this.
Sometimes I stop and think; why is she so desperate? Why haven't men seen the good wife in her? She has it all, by the way she has a Masters, could it be the reason she's not finding a suitor? Did she waste her whole time in campus in Christian Union group? Is she arrogant and selfish? Or his kind of guy has not crossed her path? Or she has a condition in her private part and she hasn't spoken out? Is her bride price outrageous?
The more something stays in the market, say a cloth, the more it depreciates in value, due to the harsh conditions, it's value goes down. A nice cloth attracts the buyer's eyes, say one buyer is attracted to it, comes fits, finds that it is big, it's waist needs some adjustment, another buyer comes and the other, at the end of the day, the dust and the sun exposure makes the garment more blurry, if the first buyer comes back to see the garment, boy oh boy, it is so bad. The buyer even doesn't know why he got attracted to the garment in the first place.
Same to the 30+ year old. You are not appreciating in value any longer. There is no need to hang in there. Being single is lonely, it is good, you have the freedom in your two bedroom house, but the loneliness is hell. You can fart at the slightest opportunity, walk around the house with only the under garment and still no one would question you. Your neighbors are your worst enemies, they have loudy kids who even come and knock at your door, you hate it, why would a grown ass woman let her kids bang my door so loudly! But hey, kids are kids, let them be, you will understand it when you will finally cross the line and land on the other side called motherhood Lane. Here things are lively and lovely. Loneliness is a word of the past.
Happy Women's day.
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